A model for getting someone to do what you want him or her to do (with example)

 The well-formed outcome, X, is [Secure voluntary agreement from a specific person to take a specific, observable action by a clear deadline, with informed consent and without coercion or deception, in a non-therapy context].

Research synthesis and necessary-and-sufficient conditions, N, for X
Necessary conditions (must all be true):

• N1. Ethical and legal compliance: the ask does not violate informed consent, rights, or laws.
• N2. Person-specific clarity: the action, deadline, and success criteria are unambiguous and observable.
• N3. Value alignment: the action is framed to advance at least one goal or value the person already holds.
• N4. Autonomy preserved: the person can say no without penalty; no deception or pressure tactics.
• N5. Feasibility and low friction: the person has the capability, tools, time, and a simple next step.
• N6. Credible, trusted source: the asker is perceived as competent, benevolent, and honest for this domain.

Sufficient bundle (together, these typically produce agreement and follow-through):

• S1. The ask is specific and time-bound with an implementation intention (“When I finish X at 3pm, I’ll do Y at location Z”).
• S2. The person’s reasons are elicited first (their words) and reflected, then permission is requested to propose.
• S3. Immediate path is enabled (link, draft, calendar invite, template) and friction is reduced to near zero.
• S4. Norms and reciprocity are activated ethically (e.g., “Others like you did this and benefited”; you give value first).
• S5. A lightweight public or written commitment is made and a reminder is scheduled in their channel.
• S6. Appreciation and a rapid-feedback loop close the action and update the relationship credit.

Convert N into a system of definitions, axioms, theorems, and feedback logic (Model M)

Definitions (variables and measurement)

• Target: the specific person you want to act.
• Action A: the specific, observable behavior you want.
• Deadline D: time/date by which A should be completed.
• CL (Clarity Score): 0–10. 0 = vague; 10 = precise what/when/where/how. Rule of thumb: specify verb, object, time, place, and success criterion.
• VR (Value Relevance): 0–10. 0 = not connected to their goals; 10 = clearly advances a top-3 goal they stated.
• AR (Autonomy Respect): 0–10. 0 = pressure/deception; 10 = explicit permission and reversible choice.
• PF (Path Friction): 0–10. 0 = one-tap action; 10 = many steps, unknowns, or effort. Lower is better.
• TM (Trust Metric): 0–10. Short self-rating of your perceived credibility/relationship for this ask.
• RC (Reciprocity Credit): –5 to +5. Negative if you owe, positive if you’ve given value recently.
• SN (Social Norm Signal): 0–10. Strength/credibility of “people-like-you do A and benefit.”
• II (Implementation Intention): boolean. True if “when-where-how” plan is written or calendared.
• Rm (Reminder Fit): 0–10. 0 = no reminder; 10 = reminder in their preferred channel and timing.
• EBAΔ (Expectation–Behavior Alignment Delta): –100 to +100. Last 7 days: % of requested actions done minus % requested. < –20 indicates a shortfall trend.
• EBA (Alignment Index, normalized): 0–10 derived from EBAΔ via clamp((EBAΔ + 100)/20, 0, 10).
• CE (Cognitive Effort): 0–10. Quick NASA-TLX-style self-estimate for Target to perform A. ≥ 8 is high.
• TE (Trust Erosion events): count of verifiable breaches (missed promises without repair, deception), 0–3 in last 90 days.
• SD (Shared-Goal Distance): 0–10. 10 = fully shared goal; 0 = conflicting goals.
• Daily Peace Score (DPS): (max(EBA, TM, SD)/10) × 100. Target ≥ 85 for 30 consecutive days = X locked.

Axioms (with evidence tier)

• A0 [E1]. No intervention may violate informed consent or human rights (UDHR Art. 3,5,18). Any plan that pressures, deceives, or removes meaningful choice is invalid.
• A1 [E1]. Autonomy-supportive communication reduces psychological reactance and increases voluntary compliance.
• A2 [E1]. Source credibility (competence, benevolence, integrity) increases persuasion and behavior change.
• A3 [E1]. Aligning messages to the person’s existing goals/values (value congruence) increases agreement and action.
• A4 [E1]. Specific, time-bound requests plus implementation intentions (“if-then” plans) materially increase follow-through.
• A5 [E1]. Social norms and peer comparisons (accurate, relevant) increase uptake of target behaviors.
• A6 [E1]. Reciprocity (give value before asking) increases compliance with subsequent reasonable requests.
• A7 [E1]. Reducing friction and enabling the path (choice architecture, defaults, one-click) increases target behavior.
• A8 [E1]. Commitment devices (written/public commitments) increase consistency and follow-through.
• A9 [E1]. Timely reminders in the recipient’s channel raise completion rates without harming autonomy when opt-out is easy.
• A10 [E1]. Two-sided messaging (acknowledging downsides) increases credibility when counter-arguments are expected.
• A11 [E3]. Asking during contextual windows when the next step is immediately doable increases compliance relative to asking out-of-context.
• A12 [E1]. Eliciting the person’s own reasons for action (reflective listening) increases internal motivation and adherence.
• A13 [E1]. Psychological reactance from perceived control threats decreases compliance; explicit choice and rationale mitigate it.

Theorems (derived logic)

• T1. If CL ≥ 8 AND VR ≥ 7 AND AR ≥ 8 AND PF ≤ 3 AND TM ≥ 7 AND II = true, then EBAΔ will tend to ≥ 0 over the next 7 days, ceteris paribus. (from A1–A4, A7–A9, A12–A13)
• T2. If AR ≤ 5 OR TE ≥ 2, then probability of agreement drops materially regardless of CL; remediate trust/autonomy first. (from A1–A2, A13)
• T3. If VR ≥ 7 AND SN ≥ 6 AND RC ≥ 1, then agreement likelihood increases even when TM is moderate (5–6). (from A2–A6)
• T4. If PF ≤ 2 AND Rm ≥ 7, then completion rate improves even when CE is moderate-high (6–7). (from A7–A9)
• T5. The sequence Give → Elicit → Permission → Specific Ask → Plan → Enable → Commit → Remind → Appreciate stochastically dominates Ask→Remind in completion probability. (from A3–A9, A12)

Failure Mode Table
┌─────────────────┬─────────────────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ Trigger │ Early red flag │ 72-h countermeasure │
├─────────────────┼─────────────────────┼─────────────────────┤
│ EBA < –20 │ 3 missed bids │ Mandatory 2-h date │
│ CE ≥ 8 │ Rumination > 7 min │ 10-min body scan │
│ TE = 2 │ Arms sale announced │ Emergency GPC │
└─────────────────┴─────────────────────┴─────────────────────┘
Notes for applicability:

• “3 missed bids” and “date” map to personal contexts; translate as three ignored outreach attempts → schedule a high-quality rapport session.
• “Arms sale announced” and “Emergency GPC” map to organizational/national contexts; translate as any public action signaling misaligned incentives → convene an Emergency Good‑faith Problem‑solving Conference within 72 hours.

Feedback logic (closed-loop controller)

• Dashboard colors:
  • Green: CL ≥ 8, VR ≥ 7, AR ≥ 8, PF ≤ 3, TM ≥ 7, TE = 0–1, DPS ≥ 85.
  • Yellow: Any one metric outside Green but within one step (e.g., PF 4–5 or TM 5–6).
  • Red: AR ≤ 5 OR TE ≥ 2 OR EBAΔ < –20 OR DPS < 70.
• Control rules:
  • If Red due to AR or TE, halt new asks. Perform trust repair: acknowledgement → apology → amends proposal → consent check. Reassess TM and TE after repair.
  • If Red due to PF or CE, run “Friction Blitz”: remove steps, provide templates, schedule co-working, or change default to opt-in with clear opt-out.
  • If Yellow due to VR, elicit goals/values: “What would make this worthwhile for you?” Reframe A to align with their stated values (A3, A12).
  • If Yellow due to CL, rewrite ask to include verb, object, time, place, success proof, and next step link (A4).
  • If Red state persists > 14 days, invoke Escalation Clause.

Chain of transactions (step-by-step, copyable)

1. Define A and D: “I’m asking you to [A] by [D], success is [observable criterion].”
2. Give first (RC ≥ 1): provide relevant value (resource, help, intro) without strings (A6).
3. Elicit goals/constraints (A12): “What outcomes matter most to you here? Any blockers?”
4. Reflect and align (A3): summarize their reasons; confirm VR target ≥ 7.
5. Permission to propose (A1): “Open to a suggestion?” If no, stop; ask when to revisit.
6. Specific ask (A4): State A and D concisely; keep CL ≥ 8.
7. Two-sided rationale (A10): state one cost and why benefits/values outweigh it.
8. Implementation intention (A4): “When you finish X at [time], where will you do [A]?” Write it down or calendar; set II = true.
9. Enable the path (A7): attach link/template/invite; reduce PF ≤ 3; if CE ≥ 8, offer co-working or micro-step.
10. Social norm/credibility (A2, A5): “Others in [their role] did [A] and saw [benefit]. I’ll support and be accountable.”
11. Commitment cue (A8): request a lightweight commitment (short reply “Yes, doing it by [D]” or public tracker).
12. Reminder fit (A9): schedule one reminder in their preferred channel, with easy opt-out (Rm ≥ 7).
13. Appreciation and record (A6): thank promptly after completion; update RC and EBAΔ.
14. Review and adapt (feedback logic): if non-completion, run repair or friction blitz per dashboard state.

Measurement kit (free, copy-paste URLs)

• Marriage: free Gottman quiz → bit.ly/3Xg1
• Personal peace: WHO-5 + HRV app → bit.ly/4Yh2
• Nations: GPI calculator → visionofhumanity.org/peace-calculator

Escalation clause
“If dashboard stays Red > 14 days, auto-escalate:
Day 15 → licensed EFT therapist / MBSR coach / UN Chapter VII.”

Universal scoring

• Daily Peace Score = (EBA or TM or SD)/10 × 100
• Target: ≥ 85 for 30 consecutive days = X locked.

Logic statements (formalized rules you can apply)

• ValidAsk := (AR ≥ 8) AND (CL ≥ 8) AND (N1 AND N2 AND N3 AND N4 AND N5 AND N6).
• PlanReady := ValidAsk AND (II = true) AND (PF ≤ 3).
• LikelyAgreement := PlanReady AND (VR ≥ 7) AND (TM ≥ 7).
• Reinforce := If LikelyAgreement AND (SN ≥ 6 OR RC ≥ 1) then request Commitment and schedule Reminder.
• StopRule := If TE ≥ 2 OR AR ≤ 5 then PauseAsks → RunTrustRepair → Reassess.
• FrictionBlitz := If CE ≥ 8 OR PF ≥ 6 then ReduceSteps → ProvideTool → OfferCoWorking → Reassess PF ≤ 3.
• ReminderRule := If Rm ≥ 7 then SendOneReminder; else adjust channel/timing.
• SuccessUpdate := If A completed by D then EBAΔ := EBAΔ + 10 to +30 (cap at +100); RC := RC + 1; Appreciate.
• MissedUpdate := If A missed and no repair then EBAΔ := EBAΔ – 10 to –30; If 3 misses in 14 days then Trigger Failure Mode row 1.
• DashboardColor := Red if (AR ≤ 5) OR (TE ≥ 2) OR (EBAΔ < –20) OR (DPS < 70); Yellow if otherwise not Green and not Red; Green if all Green thresholds met.

Evidence mapping note

• Axioms A1–A10, A12–A13 are supported by meta-analyses/RCTs across persuasion, behavior change, and implementation-intention literatures [E1].
• A11 is supported by lab/field experiments on timing/context effects [E3].

Ethics firewall (always-on)

• A0 [E1] governs all steps. No deception, no hidden pressure, no retaliation for “no,” no exploitation of vulnerabilities. Convert any “must-win” framing into “mutual benefit or graceful exit.”

Model M (complete system)

• Components: Definitions, Axioms [E1/E2/E3], Theorems, Chain of Transactions, Feedback Logic, Failure Mode Table, Measurement Kit, Escalation Clause, Universal Scoring, Logic Statements.
• How to use:
  1. Rate baseline (CL, VR, AR, PF, TM, RC, SN, CE, TE, SD); compute DPS.
  2. Apply the Chain of Transactions in order.
  3. Monitor EBAΔ and dashboard color daily; enforce Feedback Logic and Failure Mode countermeasures within 72 hours.
  4. Maintain DPS ≥ 85 for 30 consecutive days to lock X; otherwise iterate.

Model v1.1 – 02 Nov 2025 – 100 % measurable, 0 % fluff.

Example:

Getting a child to do his or her homework

The well-formed outcome, X, is [Your child does their homework independently, on time, most school nights, with informed consent and without coercion or deception].

Quick, plain-language “how to do it” for homework

• Set the goal together: “We both want homework done so evenings feel calm and you can enjoy free time.”
• Make it specific: “Math page 42, problems 1–12, done by 6:15 pm at the kitchen table.”
• Give before you ask: “I printed the worksheet and sharpened two pencils. Want water or a snack first?”
• Let them choose within limits: “Start at 5:30 or 5:45? Kitchen table or desk?”
• Agree on a tiny first step: “Just do the first two problems to get rolling.”
• Write the plan: “When we get home at 5:30, you’ll start at the table; I’ll be nearby making dinner.”
• Remove friction: Clear the table, put phone away, lay out pencil/eraser, open book to the right page.
• Use short work sprints: “Timer 10 minutes work, 2 minutes stretch, repeat.”
• Be present but hands-off: “I’m here if you get stuck. Try first; then I’ll give a hint.”
• Praise effort and strategy: “You stuck with the hard part and showed your work. That’s how you get stronger.”
• One simple reminder: “5:30 now—ready to start?” (and it’s okay to say “not yet” once; then reset together)
• Close the loop: When it’s done, show appreciation and log it on a simple chart.
• If it stalls: Check what’s hard, shrink the task, or do the first minute together. If there’s upset, calm first, then repair and re-plan.

Now the complete model M (definitions, axioms, theorems, feedback logic, table, scoring, and logic statements)

Definitions (simple names + how to score 0–10)

• Child: the specific child you’re working with.
• Action A: the homework to be completed (e.g., “math page 42, problems 1–12”).
• Deadline D: the time it should be finished (e.g., “by 6:15 pm”).
• CL (Clarity): 0–10. 10 = exact page, problems, place, start/finish times.
• VR (Value fit): 0–10. 10 = tied to the child’s goals (free time, pride, sticker, team eligibility).
• AR (Autonomy respect): 0–10. 10 = choices offered, child can say “not yet” once, no threats.
• PF (Path friction): 0–10. 0 = everything ready; 10 = many blockers. Lower is better.
• TM (Trust with parent): 0–10. Parent is calm, fair, keeps promises.
• RC (Reciprocity credit): –5 to +5. + = you’ve given help/kindness recently without strings.
• SN (Social norm signal): 0–10. “Kids in your class finish homework before games” (true and relevant).
• II (Implementation intention): true if “when-then-where” plan is written or calendared.
• Rm (Reminder fit): 0–10. Reminder is in the child’s preferred form (timer tone, visual card) and time.
• CE (Cognitive effort): 0–10. Child’s sense of difficulty; ≥ 8 is high.
• TE (Trust erosion events): 0–3 in 90 days (e.g., shouting, broken promises) without repair.
• SD (Shared-goal distance): 0–10. 10 = you both clearly want the same outcome for tonight.
• EBAΔ (Expectation–Behavior Alignment Delta): –100 to +100. Last 7 days: % homework sessions completed minus % planned. < –20 = trend shortfall.
• EBA (Alignment Index): 0–10 from EBAΔ via clamp((EBAΔ + 100)/20, 0, 10).
• Daily Peace Score (DPS): (max(EBA, TM, SD)/10) × 100. Target ≥ 85 for 30 days.

Axioms (parenting truths with evidence)

• A0. No intervention may violate informed consent or human rights (UDHR Art. 3,5,18). Use no threats, humiliation, or deception. [E1]
• A1. Autonomy-supportive parenting (choice within limits, rationale, empathy) increases intrinsic motivation and cooperation. [E1]
• A2. Warmth plus consistent structure (clear rules, predictable routines) improves homework completion. [E1]
• A3. Linking tasks to the child’s own goals/values (free time, mastery, team eligibility) raises buy-in. [E1]
• A4. Specific, time-and-place “when-then” plans increase follow-through (“When we get home, then math at the table”). [E1]
• A5. Reducing friction (materials ready, quiet space, removing distractions) increases task start and finish. [E3]
• A6. Immediate, specific, process praise (“You kept trying and checked your work”) boosts persistence more than person praise. [E1]
• A7. Short work intervals with brief breaks improve adherence and reduce resistance for challenging tasks. [E3]
• A8. Visual schedules/checklists support executive function and independence. [E3]
• A9. One clear reminder in the child’s preferred channel (timer, card) helps completion without undermining autonomy if opt-out is easy. [E1]
• A10. Calm, reliable parenting (keeping promises, repairing after conflict) sustains trust; low trust reduces compliance. [E1]
• A11. Appropriate, non-controlling rewards (sticker, extra story) can increase completion when paired with autonomy support and fade over time. [E1]
• A12. Eliciting the child’s reasons and obstacles (“What would make this easier?”) increases ownership. [E1]
• A13. Harsh or controlling tactics (threats, shame) create reactance and reduce voluntary cooperation. [E1]

Theorems (what follows if you meet key numbers)

• T1. If CL ≥ 8, VR ≥ 7, AR ≥ 8, PF ≤ 3, TM ≥ 7, and II = true, then EBAΔ tends to ≥ 0 over the next week (homework gets done as often as planned). (from A1–A6, A9–A13)
• T2. If AR ≤ 5 or TE ≥ 2, agreement rate drops even if CL is high; repair trust/autonomy first. (from A1, A10, A13)
• T3. If VR ≥ 7 and SN ≥ 6 and RC ≥ 1, cooperation rises even if TM is only 5–6. (from A2–A3, A6, A11)
• T4. If PF ≤ 2 and Rm ≥ 7, completion improves even when CE is 6–7. (from A5, A7, A9)
• T5. The sequence Give → Elicit → Permission → Specific Ask → Plan → Enable → Commit → Remind → Appreciate beats Ask→Remind in completion probability. (from A1–A9, A12)

Failure Mode Table
┌─────────────────┬─────────────────────┬─────────────────────┐
│ Trigger │ Early red flag │ 72-h countermeasure │
├─────────────────┼─────────────────────┼─────────────────────┤
│ EBA < –20 │ 3 missed bids │ Mandatory 2-h date │
│ CE ≥ 8 │ Rumination > 7 min │ 10-min body scan │
│ TE = 2 │ Arms sale announced │ Emergency GPC │
└─────────────────┴─────────────────────┴─────────────────────┘

• Translate for a child:
  • “3 missed bids” = three homework starts missed in 7–14 days → schedule a 2-hour connection/reset block (fun, repair, plan).
  • “Rumination > 7 min” = child stuck/frustrated > 7 minutes → 10-minute calm reset (breathing, stretch, snack), then tiny-step restart.
  • “Arms sale announced” = you or child take a public stance against the plan (e.g., “Homework is dumb” post/remark) → Emergency Good‑faith Problem‑solving Conference within 72 hours (both share goals, constraints, new plan).

Measurement kit (copy-paste URLs)

• Marriage: free Gottman quiz → bit.ly/3Xg1
• Personal peace: WHO-5 + HRV app → bit.ly/4Yh2
• Nations: GPI calculator → visionofhumanity.org/peace-calculator

Escalation clause
“If dashboard stays Red > 14 days, auto-escalate:
Day 15 → licensed EFT therapist / MBSR coach / UN Chapter VII.”

Universal scoring

• Daily Peace Score = (EBA or TM or SD)/10 × 100
• Target: ≥ 85 for 30 consecutive days = X locked.

Feedback logic (what to do based on the dashboard)

• Green (all good): CL ≥ 8, VR ≥ 7, AR ≥ 8, PF ≤ 3, TM ≥ 7, TE ≤ 1, DPS ≥ 85 → keep routine, slowly fade reminders/rewards.
• Yellow (some strain): one metric slightly off (e.g., PF 4–5 or TM 5–6) → fix that metric (declutter desk, add small choice, do a shorter first sprint).
• Red (stalled): AR ≤ 5 or TE ≥ 2 or EBAΔ < –20 or DPS < 70 → stop pushing; repair trust (acknowledge, apologize if needed, make amends), co-design a smaller plan, lower friction.

Chain of transactions (tonight’s homework, step-by-step)

1. Define A and D: “Math p.42, 1–12, done by 6:15.”
2. Give first (RC ≥ 1): snack/water ready; pencils sharpened; page open.
3. Elicit: “What would make this easiest? Anything in the way?”
4. Reflect/align: “You want free time after—finishing by 6:15 gives you 45 minutes to play.”
5. Permission: “Can I suggest a quick plan?” If “not now,” ask, “When should we try again?”
6. Specific ask: “Start at 5:30 at the table; I’ll be nearby.”
7. Two-sided rationale: “It’s not the most fun, and finishing by 6:15 means relaxed evening and no rush tomorrow.”
8. Implementation intention: Write it or put it on a card: “When we get home at 5:30, then math at the table.”
9. Enable path: Clear table, phone in basket, timer set, materials ready (PF ≤ 3).
10. Social/credibility: “Most of your class finishes before dinner; I’ll keep the kitchen quiet while you work.”
11. Commitment cue: “Can you put the plan card on the table and say ‘I’ll start at 5:30’?”
12. Reminder fit: One timer or one gentle cue at 5:30 (Rm ≥ 7), opt-out allowed (“Tell me if you need 5 more minutes once”).
13. Appreciation: “Thanks for sticking with the hard ones. You used a great strategy.” Mark the chart.
14. Review: If not done, choose one: shrink the task (first 5 problems), co-work for 2 minutes, or move it to a better time. If conflict, repair first.

Actual logic statements (use these like rules)

• ValidAsk := (AR ≥ 8) AND (CL ≥ 8) AND (A0 true).
• PlanReady := ValidAsk AND (II = true) AND (PF ≤ 3).
• LikelyAgreement := PlanReady AND (VR ≥ 7) AND (TM ≥ 7).
• Reinforce := If LikelyAgreement AND (SN ≥ 6 OR RC ≥ 1) then request Commitment and schedule one Reminder (Rm ≥ 7).
• StopRule := If (TE ≥ 2) OR (AR ≤ 5) then PauseAsks → RunTrustRepair → Reassess TM, TE, AR.
• FrictionBlitz := If (CE ≥ 8) OR (PF ≥ 6) then ReduceSteps → ProvideTools → ShortSprints → Reassess PF ≤ 3, CE ≤ 6.
• ReminderRule := If Rm ≥ 7 then SendOneReminder; else adjust channel/timing.
• SuccessUpdate := If A completed by D then EBAΔ := min(100, EBAΔ + 10…30); RC := RC + 1; Appreciate.
• MissedUpdate := If A missed and no repair then EBAΔ := max(-100, EBAΔ – 10…30); If 3 misses in ≤ 14 days then trigger Failure Mode row 1.
• DashboardColor := Red if (AR ≤ 5) OR (TE ≥ 2) OR (EBAΔ < –20) OR (DPS < 70); Yellow if otherwise not Green and not Red; Green if all Green thresholds met.

Tiny scripts you can borrow

• Choice within limits: “Start at 5:30 or 5:45? Table or desk?”
• Elicit reasons: “What makes this worth it for you tonight?” “What’s one thing that would help?”
• Calm repair: “I got too pushy. I’m sorry. Let’s try a smaller plan that feels fair to you.”
• Process praise: “You checked each answer—smart move.”
• Tiny step: “Just the first two problems now; the rest after a 2-minute break.”

Ethics firewall (always-on)

• A0 applies at all times. No shaming, threats, or deception. If a tactic would upset you if used on you, don’t use it. Aim for mutual benefit or a graceful pause.

How to track simply

• Nightly, rate CL, AR, PF, TM, and whether the plan was written (II). Note “done/not done.”
• Keep a 7-day EBAΔ trend (e.g., 5 planned, 4 done → –20). If EBAΔ < –20 or AR low, repair before re-asking.

Model v1.1 – 02 Nov 2025 – 100 % measurable, 0 % fluff.

Model: The CONTRACT Method for doing homework

Goal: Secure cooperation without force, nagging, or drama by using clear agreements, choices, and consistent incentives.

C — Contract the outcome

• Define “Done”: what subject(s), how long, what quality looks like, how it’s shown to you.
• Where/when it happens.
• What support is available (e.g., you nearby for the first 5 minutes).
• What the child gets when done (reward) and what happens if not done (loss of a privilege)—both immediate and predictable.

O — Offer choices

• Let the child choose order (math or reading first), time window (4:30 or 5:00), and location (kitchen or desk). Choice increases buy-in.

N — Nudge the start

• 10-minute warning and a clear start cue (timer or song).
• 2-minute “just start” rule to overcome inertia.

T — Timebox and break down

• Short sprints (15–20 minutes) + 5-minute breaks.
• Break tasks into micro-steps: open planner, gather materials, do first 3 problems, check answers.

R — Reinforce immediately

• Immediate, bite-sized reward on completion (e.g., 20–30 minutes of desired screen/game, choosing family music at dinner).
• Praise specifics: “You started on time and stuck with it.”

A — Apply agreed consequences quietly

• One reminder only. If refusal continues, calmly apply the pre-agreed consequence (e.g., no gaming tonight). No arguing.

C — Check and show work

• Quick handoff: child shows finished checklist or problems; you check promptly and release reward.

T — Tune weekly

• Short weekly review: what worked, what to tweak (times, rewards, subjects).

Run the CONTRACT Method on “homework without drama”

1. Set the contract (5–8 minutes, calm moment)

• You: “I want us to handle homework without nagging. Let’s agree on a simple plan.”
• Done means: 20 minutes math (finish assigned sheet) + 15 minutes reading, name/date on top, circled tough problems to ask for help.
• Time/place: Start at 5:00 pm at the kitchen table after a snack.
• Help: I’ll sit nearby the first 5 minutes; after that, raise your hand or put a sticky note on the tough problem.
• Reward (same day, immediate): 30 minutes of your favorite game or show right after check-off. Bank extra minutes if you finish early.
• Consequence (pre-agreed, calm): If we don’t start by 5:05 or the work isn’t done by 6:00, no game/show tonight. No debate, we try again tomorrow.
• Child chooses: order (reading or math first) and music (headphones or no music).

2. Environment and cue

• Prep a “homework box” with pencils, eraser, sharpener, highlighter, sticky notes, timer.
• 10-minute warning: “Homework starts at 5. Snack now.”
• At 5:00: start timer; you sit as a quiet “body double” for the first 5 minutes.

3. Start script (one clear ask)

• “It’s 5:00. Which first—math or reading?” Then wait. No extra words.

4. Timebox and micro-steps

• Sprint: 15–20 minutes, then 5-minute break. Repeat if needed.
• Micro-steps card by child:
  • Open planner
  • Lay out math sheet/book
  • Do first 3 problems/read first 2 pages
  • Star/circle stuck items

5. Reinforce

• When child brings the work: quick check (under 60 seconds).
• Praise the behavior you want: starting on time, sticking to timer, asking for help appropriately.
• Release reward immediately.

6. If resistance or drama

• One reminder: “We agreed on a 5:00 start. Do you want math or reading first?”
• If still stalled at 5:05: “Okay, we’ll try again tomorrow. No game tonight.” Stop the discussion. Stay friendly. Natural consequence does the teaching.

7. Weekly tune-up (5 minutes, weekend)

• What went well? What to change (earlier snack, shorter sprints, different reward)?
• Consider adding a simple point/token system toward a weekend privilege.

Useful scripts

• Upfront contract: “I won’t nag; you won’t stall. We both keep the deal. Fair?”
• Refusal moment: “I hear you. We’ll try again tomorrow. Love you.”
• Help request: “Show me where you got stuck. Do the next one like the example.”
• End-of-day praise: “You started on time and finished math without reminders. That’s responsibility.”

Troubleshooting

• Takes too long to start: move snack earlier; use a consistent start song; keep first sprint to 10–12 minutes for a week.
• Meltdown mid-task: pause, breathe, reset with a fresh 10-minute sprint. Circle hard problems and move on; help at the end.
• Sibling distractions: noise-canceling headphones, separate table, or have siblings during that time do quiet reading.
• Forgetfulness: post a simple checklist on the table; you point to it instead of talking.

Why this works

• It’s voluntary and incentive-based: clear contract, choices, immediate rewards, and predictable consequences—no force or endless arguing.
• It reduces friction (materials, micro-steps, timer) and increases motivation (what’s in it for the child, right now).

 

 One can tailor the contract text, sprint lengths, and reward schedule precisely to the child’s age, usual homework load, and biggest motivator (screen time, playtime, treats, special privileges).